Trust. Trust. Trust. I personally think trust is "the" most important thing in a relationship. It creates or relinquish so many problems. If love is a house trust would have to be the foundation. "Your relationship would probably last longer with no love and trust than it would with love and no trust." My boys often ask me if I trust my wife..... like do I REALLY trust her. And the answer is "YES". I trust her undoubtably. I've learned to even trust her beyond my own personal concern. I knew that last statement would raise eye brows but let me explain. In our relationship we have always been very open. We've trusted each other in ways that would damage other couples for the majority of our relationship. Because I felt it was so important and one of the abstruse reasons that most relationships end. I don't screen her phone calls, we party sometimes with our friends separately (unless we have something planned together), we've taken out of state trips without one another, and we actually have some friends of the opposite sex etc. etc. See with us, with that trust comes responsibility. Not just that u will be responsible enough to do right but that YOU will be responsible for your actions. I always told my wife that as a man I don't make mistakes.... I make decisions. And by being responsible for what I do, if I stepped outside of our relationship I risk not being forgiven or given another chance.... and so does she. No excuses. I've never really had someone to trust me as much as she does. And the funny thing is that I've never put forth this much of an effort to be faithful. Even before she and I became married. It's ironic that the more freedom I got the less I did. That trust she has in me has kept me more faithful than any other thing in our relationship. "I love being loved, and I love being trusted". I never want the day to come that it is awkward when she says, "Stephen I'm going out with the girls" or when her phone rings. And visa versa. (By the way, which would never happen because I love her girls) :o)
I personally feel that when u do all of the crazy stuff all we do is cause our partner to make more precautions.... become more sneakier. It becomes sort of a game of cat and mouse. And besides, most of the time all the antics end up pushing them away.... especially if your accusations weren't right. I always felt like a person wasn't being 100% faithful if they never had the opportunity to do wrong. Not saying that u need to go sleep in a whore house to prove you'll do right but I just think that changing numbers and avoiding old partners are just ways to hide what u REALLY want to do. And with that avoidance could come a problem when u two did see each other again. I want to be able to be faithful EVEN when I have the opportunity to do the opposite.
The truth is there is nothing in the world u can do to make someone love YOU and just you or be faithful. But what you can do is give them the best you possible. I don't keep Aliceson home by tying her up in the back yard but what I do is give her a situation sooo good that if she went anywhere else it would be a down grade in some, if not all, aspects of the relationship. My mother always told me to not worry about something that I couldn't control and that's what I decided to do about trust. It's out of my hands. But what I can control is how happy we are and our communication. So communicate with each other. Ask your partner, "Are u happy?", "where's your head these days... anything we need to talk about?" Create an atmosphere that let's them know that they can come talk to you about ANYTHING. While creating an atmosphere that's says.... "I asked u... why didn't u say something then". :o) Trust is one of the hardest things to attain once it has been lost. So trust the way you want to be trusted and watch how your relationship blossoms.
