Everyone is trying to figure this love thing out. There are countless movies and books on the subject but they always seem to not cover everyone's situation. In my circle of friends I have been fortunate enough to hear both sides of the issue, from my boys and a lot of close female friends my wife and I have. The funny things is that there are VERY small things keeping alot of men and women from finding each other. A lot of miscommunication. See I get to hear these beautiful women tell me that they're not looking for "mister right"..... and that they just want someone that is with them 100%, communicates well, and has goals. And of course good looks has never hurt. :o) And on the other side of things I hear my boys tell me how much they feel like they need to accomplish before they would approach their ideal woman........ because they feel like that's what women want. So how does that woman relay to that man that what he may be assuming ISN'T ultimately who or what she really is...... OR wants? That's a question that needs to be figured out. And I'm gonna take a swing at that soon. But here is my take on love. LOVE IS LIKE RELIGION!! With all of the references you hear in church of God being love and how God so "loved" the world so that he gave his only begotten son. I could even go on a limb and say that LOVE IS RELIGION. Think about everything you know about your religion or your faith. Everything that applies. Isn't that love? In my religion of Christianity I am asked to believe without any doubts. To have the faith of a mustard seed.... but within that small mustard seed there is not one grain of doubt. I am taught that I should believe without question and to put my all into something that isn't tangible nor can not be seen. To believe in my heart and to confess with my mouth. Isn't that love? Aren't we suppose to love another with out even truly knowing if they love us the same? Aren't we asked to trust someone else beyond reason..... beyond suspicion? And aren't we filling our hearts with emotion and a feeling to ultimately one day look that person in the eyes and say..... "I love you"?
If you have a question about love think about your religion. Just like religion some people think love is something that you say and then you go into cruise control. IT'S NOT!! You don't get saved and then sit back and let GOD. It's an everyday progression, it's a lifetime commitment, and it takes a lot of work. Just like love there are a lot of people who say they are into the church 100% but they're actions say otherwise. So when you are truly in love, just like religion, you will have more doubters than praisers. A lot of people say, "I'm gonna get saved when I get right". There are also a lot of men and women that say the same about relationships. You can't go in to love with your heart protected. The bad thing about love is that you almost have to be vulnerable to getting hurt to really receive it's glory. You have to be exposed. Forget your past relationships and go at it 100 % all over again. When you protect your heart in a relationship it's like have training wheels on a bike...... you may not fall but you will never go as fast and as far as the others who don't have em. So if LOVE truly is RELIGION, that would mean that we have all of the answers we need to make it work. We just have to employ them. Maybe that's why our parents always tell us to put GOD first in the relationship. Because where there is GOD...... there is LOVE.
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ReplyDeleteRemember, all of these are from my opinion. I would love to hear yours. And thanks for reading.
ReplyDeleteWow! Stephen, another great blog! My have you matured! Aliceson is truly blessed!
ReplyDeleteI like it Steve! OMG! This is all so true and we truly have similar thoughts on this topic. As a matter of fact, I was just explaining this same exact thing to a special someone. Keep em comin man! I love this kind of stuff! You are doing a wonderful job. Now what you should really write on is understanding the mixed signals of men... dats what I wanna see and understand!
ReplyDeleteTell Aliceson I said whaddup!
Ya homegurl,
Tamika
YOU ARE AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteHALEY
Stephen..
ReplyDeleteYour blogs are so inspirational. I agree with your opinions and I pray that Kieser and I can have the kind of relationship that you and Al share. God Bless you both!
ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL! Keep writing because your words serve as motivation and inspiration to others. They are able to witness why I love and adore you so much!!!! Keep it up SWEETIE! LOVE YA!
ReplyDelete~Aliceson
Ha! you know I'm like a dude when it comes to Love I shun it away quick. So I gotta side with dudes that say they need to accomplish some things before they look for love. I'm the same way, I feel like I need to be at the TOP of my game before I bring some1 into my world. Even tho, i don't mind having some1 in my life that is working on getting themselves together. I actually prefer it that way. Cause I guess, I get a since of pride knowing that they are maturing and/or growing WITH me!
ReplyDeleteAhh.. I'm a complicated person.
The Pastor at my church (shout out to New Mercies in Lilburn) preached a sermon on love. He said that love is a working progress. He said that love should make u better. Love should find you mad and make you happy. Love shouldn't find you mad and make you mad-der! And that's when it clicked for me. I used to think that it was ok for him to be a better man because of me... but i wanted to be a better woman because of ME! AND ME ONLY! but it don't work like that!
So I'm gonna work on not be so standoff-ish and be the Erica everyone knows me to be. The smart, beautiful, funny, outgoing, (did i say beautiful) Erica that I am!
Thanks Stephen!
P.S. ummmmmmmm got any homeboys that are as deep as you?! and tall as you?
just wondering
Hollla! LOL
You and Aliceson and very blessed to have found each other. Everything you expressed in this blog is 100% true. As you know, I've had a very adventurous relationship. We've had our ultimate high's and we've had our extreme lows, but through it all LOVE prevailed. Of course, I've found myself (in some instances) closed off b/c I was not going to allow myself to get hurt by the man who's supposed to love and cherish me but I had to sit back and really think....who's perfect?!? And the answere is, no one. He's made mistakes, I've made mistakes but it takes LOVE to be able to admit your wrongdoings, learn from them, and keep on loving each other more than before.
ReplyDeleteAnd like you said in your blog, if God isn't first in your relationship it makes it harder to work at truly LOVING your partner and it also makes communication a bit rough. When you are able to get on your knees as a couple and talk to God as a couple, it makes it that much easier to communicate with each other b/c God is guiding your words, thought,etc.
As always Stephen, your words are inspirational and you better keep the blogs coming!!!! :)
thanks for shining light on yet another precarious subject. if ive learned anything in these past few months, its that i must find love in God and in myself before i can except love from another!!! your words inspire many...keep 'em comin!!! xoxo to you and Al
ReplyDeleteTY
Thanks for yet another bright ray of sunshine on such an important topic. Not only did I read it but I shared it with my husband to let him know that I wasn't the only one thinking like that. Keep them coming, keep us inspired, and most of all keep God first.
ReplyDeleteYour friend,
De'Borah
Hey!!! This is another super topic. Love should be experienced without holding back or being afraid of the "What Ifs". I agree whole heartedly with what you said about being able to love someone 100%. Staying in love does require a lot of hard work and consistent faith on both parties behalf. Keeping God first for me is the only way to go!! I have been truly inspired.
ReplyDeleteIt is often through the live of others that we learn our true capabilities...complications such as love are best seen from the inside looking out..."finding" a "good" man (or woman for that matter) has very little to do with possessing the capabilities to love and understand them...keep reflecting what is inside of you, demonstrating how truly capable you are...
ReplyDeleteWell stated! I am particularly pleased at the synonymity of your use of the word Love and religion. But, even more it is Christianity because not all "religions" belive in Jesus and they don't trust that God loved the world so much that He gave Jesus to be the ultimate sacrifice. Aside from that, however, I thougt this was emaculately written!!! You possess a deep intellect and understanding of what love is, and that is beautiful; especially coming out of the mouth of a man. There must be more brothers out there who share your same views. Love is truly the one commandment that is universal and applicable to ensure all the other commandments are carried out. If we would just love and show compassion, then it would be impossible for us to committ any other sins! It would be impossible for us to be "church folks" or just serve God half-heartedly. I enjoyed the blog. I'll try to read and respond to another soon.
ReplyDeleteBe blessed!
~Michelle W~
This Has To Be My Favorite Blog Of Yours For Many Reasons, One Being That It Was Beautifully Written, Second Is That It Really Hit Home For Me. Before I Met Terry(Tarrance) I Had Never Been In A Relationship Before, I Mean I Had Guys I Talked To, Here And There But Never Like This, Because I Was One Of Those People As You Said Who Felt They Had To "get right" Before They Could Let Someone That Close To Them(Physically And Emotionally) I Felt That I Had To Be At The Threshold Of Perfection Before I Could Ever Really Be Worthy Of Being In Love But More Importantly Bring Loved. So In Some Ways I Doomed Myself To A Life Of Loneliness Because I Wanted To Be Sure Without A Shadow Of A doubt That Things Would Work Out, That I Would Not Get Hurt Or Rejected I Wanted To Keep My "Heart Protected" And I Was Gonna Do That At Any Cost, And That's Where A Lot Of People Go Wrong, That's Why A Lot Of People Go Through Life Never Having Experience Love, And On A Certain Level That Is Completely Understandable Because Who Wouldn't Want To Protect Themselves From Hurt. But Like You Said "Love Is Religion" It Is The Practice Of Believing In Something That Does Not Come With A Lifetime Problem Free Guarantee. It's A Practice That Requires One To Be Very Vulnerable, And Trusting Of Another With Their Feelings. Love Is Sometimes Hard Work That Seem Effortless Because Of The Willingness Of All Involved To Endure Whatever Necessary To Maintain. Love Is Not Ever Knowing, But Going On As If You Do. And Though None Of Use Will Ever Reach Perfection, Love Like God Is A Catalyst That Will Aid Us In The Pursuit Of Such. I Would Also Like To Mention That No One Finds Love, Love Finds Us, It Happens Quietly, And Without Detection. And Though For Mostly All My 22 Years Of Life I Have Shied Away From Love And All It Stands For, I Can Say These Things With Conviction Now Because As We Speak For The Fist Time In My Life I Am Using Them In My Own Relationship, And Though There Are Still Stumbling Stones That Arise, I Have Never Been Happier. Because Just As I'm An Avid Believer In My Faith, I'm Also An Avid Believer In Love And All That It Hopes To Offer. Great Job Bro!!!!!!!! ~CUP-CAKE~
ReplyDeleteVery interesting blog Mr. Nobles. My husband felt the same way. He was a senior and me a freshman at Paine. He wanted to have everything in order before he could start dating me. I didn't even have things together. I love him for his drive, his plan, and his willingness to work hard. I believe some men have a great need to provide. And I believe we (women) have a great need to help/support. When you put that combination together, the sky is the limit. Marriage is a partnership. Marriage requires teamwork. I thank God I was blessed to marry my equal.
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