Relationships pt. 1

These days I have a lot of friends who seem to be having problems with relationships..... or lack there of. I have home boys who are single and looking and my wife and I have beautiful female friends who just can't seem to get that someone. I try to sit back and figure it out because it seems so weird to me that these people are in the same vicinity looking for the SAME thing but can't seem to find each other. At first I thought it was "AVAILABILITY". You know, meaning there really wasn't an opportunity for these two people to meet. But as of lately and after a couple of conversations with friends of mine, male and female, I see that it's communication. Early stages of communications. It's like people don't even know how to establish the relationship early. Or set a foundation to build the relationship on. On the arcade game of Ms. Pacman , I don't know why, the intermissions to the levels of the stages were called "They meet", "The Chase", and "Junior". And as simple as it may seem that's all life is as far as relationships go. Some people might think that "The Chase" should come before "They Meet" but that's where a lot of people go wrong. (I'm going to touch that over the next two or three blogs)

When I was younger I looked at women or relationships as movies. You know, when you first see someone or meet them to me that was like the trailer to the movie. And the funny thing about movie trailers is that they're strategically designed to draw your attention. Seasoned with a couple of "oooooossss" and "ahhhhhhhhhs", pretty actors or actresses, and exciting parts of the movie JUST to get you in the theater. Kind of like what we do initially to get someone's attention. But the FUNNIEST thing about movie trailers was that sometime it could be SOOOO appealing and then the movie ended up being fucking terrible. lol Just like relationships! Keep in mind I was young...... but I was close to being correct because when you meet someone you don't always get what you thought you would from their initial appearance or conversation.

Now, when I think of relationships and women I think of cars. Hear me out. Ever notice that most people who are looking for their very first "real" car instantly looks for something brand new, undriven, and some times out of their means or price range? They're dreamers. They've seen what everyone else is driving or what's popular and they want it. Not knowing how many cars the other went through before they got to their dream car. Or how long they worked to be able to afford it. The same goes for relationships. Most of my friends who haven't been in many relationships usually are the ones with unrealistic expectations. They want someone with no kids, college degrees, lots of cash, humor, convo, good hair, dresses well, and is heavy in church. Not saying that these men or women don't exist (I mean I'm here.... but I'm taken hahahaha) but what I am saying is that just like that new car these things don't guarantee no problems. Most people that have had a couple of cars just want something that is reliable, won't ever let them down or leave em stranded, takes less to maintain, great on gas and reliable. (I had to say it twice) And looks never hurt. The same should go for relationships. With gas being sex. lol!! Some people have the patience and insight to find an older car or a car that needs a little work to it and remodel it until it looks like new...... just like relationships. Some people put a lot of thought into buying a car when others just go out and buy the first thing that look appealing. "CHEVY ON 24's WITH 180,000 MILES FOR $2,000? SOLD!!!" And three or four months later they're looking all over again...... just like relationships. Some people just want to ride ride and ride without doing any maintenance to the car and then are looking like they can't believe it when the car breaks down...... just like relationships.

So what kind of car do you want to have? And what are you willing to do to keep that car rolling? Having a Range is cool but it looks silly in front of a project home. And it looks extra funny if it breaks down and your neighbor with the 99' Camry is still riding good. So build your home first. Meaning your character, confidence, and convo. (The three C's) Then go out and get you a nice "car" that makes you look and feel as good as it looks. Treat it good and I promise it will be with you for a life time...... even if it gives you a couple of problems every now and then or needs a tune up or two. Because just like cars, we are going to get out of relationships what we put in it.